The short answer:
Yes, but not that kind of game.
The long answer:
A friend of mine, whom we’ll call K (there’s no K in his name, it was just the first letter I thought of), recently recounted to me an experience that he had on a blind date with a woman he met online, whom we’ll call F (I don’t actually know her name, it was just the second letter I thought of). I wasn’t there, of course, but from the way he described it, I imagine it might have gone something like this:
K and F are having dinner at a casual restaurant. It’s early, but things are going well so far.
F: So, tell me a little bit about yourself. What do you like to do?
K: Oh, I like to play games.
Suddenly, F frowns and becomes hostile.
F (indignantly): Oh really. What kind of… games?
K: Um… like… board games…
(silence)
K: …Parcheesi…
It therefore occurs to me that not everyone likes to play games.
Most games are enjoyable to play for many people. This makes sense, as most games were created to be fun. (One notable exception: The Game, which I just lost. Then again, The Game is not really a game so much as it is a tool to identify losers.) So it’s somehow surprising to me that at some point it became a bad thing to “play games.”
I should perhaps clarify that I am not referring to games like Boggle or bridge or pool; even if you don’t like to play these traditional sorts of games, you would probably still accept that one can enjoy them without being evil—unless perhaps you live in River City, Iowa, where they can only spell trouble. No, I am referring to a much more sinister type of game, the kind that dear F hates so much. It is the kind of game that a cat might play with a mouse. Yes, I am referring, of course, to World of Warcraft. (Make that a mouse and keyboard.)
But seriously, our dear F apparently doesn’t like people who “play games” in relationships, and I can understand where she’s coming from. Even though I like Clue as much as anyone, that doesn’t mean that I want there to be a mystery about what’s been going on in the kitchen with the candlestick. So I don’t deny that it’s often a bad thing to “play games,” I just think that we shouldn’t call it “playing games.”
To wit, there are certain aspects of playing games that are not present in the relationship situation. For instance, in most games, the players are participating out of their own free will. Everyone knows the rules (exception: the Infield Fly Rule). There is also a well-defined goal, and it’s generally supposed to be fun for everyone. But with the secrets and deception that sometimes occur in relationships, it’s not as if both sides have agreed upon the rules of the game in advance. Really, it’s more like hunting, where one person is trying to trap the other, and while it may be fun to play the hunter, it’s no fun to play the game.
Perhaps it is just human nature that we have the urge to play games with one another. That’s why if I ever find myself in a relationship, I’ll try to make sure that any games that we play are actually games. Think how much fun it could be if both people knew the rules! And maybe it won’t work out, but that’s okay. After all, it’s how you play the game, right?
Cheers,
-qm
